Cultivating a Habit of Self-worth & Self-esteem

Building good, solid self-worth and self-esteem is the groundwork for the confidence and inner direction to follow our joy, for creativity to grow, and to feel empowered, all of which is our natural birthright. We all need and deserve to shine, to know and share our gifts – no one is quite like you, you are needed in your uniqueness, as we all are.
Over the course of our later childhood, teenage and young adult years it is highly common for our confidence to be knocked several times, and it takes time to rebuild and develop healthy self-esteem so patience and acceptance for where we are right now, and forgiveness for ourselves and others who have hurt us is the quickest route to get back on track. Not easy, indeed there is no effective quick fix - it’s a process that takes time, but is so worth it for the learnings on the way and route back to the self-esteem that will support us in life.

Self-esteem and resistance to colds & viruses

Kinesiologically when I look to support someone who is convinced of their own low value and suffers regular low immunity issues I will include the immune system in the muscle testing exploration. The connection between physical immunity and the mental state of self-esteem is not immediately obvious, however it is there. For young children a strong thymus – giving a strong immune system - and healthy self-esteem go hand in hand. They express themselves plainly with no holding back, the large thymus gland they are given helps them to build up their own immunity as they experience colds and flus etc, over time. As we age and the protective support of a strong thymus gland is no longer needed, having built up our own immunity, our self-esteem also declines. In an ideal world we will have created an unconscious habit of positive self-talk, but this is not the case for so many of us. This points to the importance of learning to accept and love ourselves exactly as we are.

Vitamins to support your immune system include: vitamin A, B3, B5, C, D, Zinc and Chromium.
Flower Bach remedies: Larch for confidence.
Colour to promote self-esteem: yellow (add little splashes of it to lift you).

From the PSYCH-K angle one approach I will take is to look to the origins of this lack of self-esteem, it could be after an experience we had at a younger age where we remember (or have forgot) the decision made that we were not good enough and started to see the world and our own placing in it from that perspective – making the low self-esteem stronger and more convincing as we go through life.
We understand life through the lens of our beliefs, so where not passing an important test will be met with neutrality by a person who has healthy, strong self-worth and a recognition that there is more to learn here, reflect and start again with good faith in their own abilities, a person with low self-esteem will have punishing thoughts such as ‘I am a failure, I just can’t learn new things so it’s safer to play dumb, stop trying and don’t risk that pain again’.

Tools to develop self-worth

Here is one excellent, simple tool you can use often to help foster valuing yourself. Write out a list of your strengths, what you love and feel good about, achievements, and any health-supporting habits you enjoy (such as dog walking, a fondness for eating apples etc). Remember times when people have praised you and even if you didn’t believe it – write it down. This will start to get your mind focusing on good things about yourself and to enjoy that. Notice your response or reaction to the idea of doing this – how does it make you feel? Any strong repelling thoughts are okay – it is just revealing where you are with your sense of self at the mo.
Store your list away in your diary to read when having self-doubting, critical moments, especially relevant during cold dark winter months when we feel flat, and especially during the lockdown when most of us can feel isolated, lonely, stuck and held back.

Your calling – knowing what this is and following it will support your sense of worth. It’s important to feel needed, and know that we are going in the right direction in life. Let your joy guide you – sabotage will make you feel dismissive or resistant to this idea. And if so it would be useful to look at what’s behind this (lacking forgiveness for something?) and foster your feelings of deserving.
We all have unique skills and gifts, and as part of nature herself humans were designed to live in harmony, can you imagine what the world would be like if we all knew, developed and confidently used our skills?

More than a habit

Self worth is meant to be more that a habit, more than a choice of what you pick up or put down. It should be as natural as breathing, something you can trust in implicitly like the gravitational force that keeps your feet on the Earth.
Feeling useless, unwanted, unloved, directionless will show as a challenge and opportunity to recognise a lack of self-esteem, self-worth, self-love and prompt us to rebuild a positive relationship with ourselves as adults. It takes time and persistence but we will value it more highly having earned it and integrated it consciously. The gifts are in the transformation.

Suggested homework tasks:
Thymus tapping – tap (firmly, but not too hard) on the chest, which will be roughly in the middle of a diagonal line between your left nipple and left collar bone where it meets the throat. If you find a sore place there that’s a good sign you are in the right place, it may also sound a little hollower than anywhere else there.

Since we are working with self-worth here it would get two birds with one stone to repeat affirmations while you tap on your thymus, also boosting your immune system. Here are some suggestions, you may like to use affirmations already programmed into your subconscious mind during PSYCH-K sessions with me. Focus on the words and notice how you feel as you repeat them out loud with the tapping.

I love and accept myself, and all perceived imperfections exactly as I am.
I deserve my own love and compassion.
I am willing to see my strengths and I allow my own joy to be my guide in life.
Positive thoughts about myself encourage me to confidently reach for my own best in life.