About Hank (a personal account of dealing with the loss of a loved one)
My sister’s unwell and elderly Great Dane Hank had to be put down in early January. I expected the news, but it hit me harder than I thought! I felt ungrounded, heavy and tearful thinking back at how much he has meant to the whole family during his 7 years of life, and of the pain, confusion and discomfort he endured in his final months, and the loss of him – this larger-than-life dog.
As soon as I was able to be alone after hearing the news I sat with the feelings in the quiet and leaned towards them. I took a few drops of Rescue Remedy in a glass of water, and held the palm of one hand over my forehead and the other to the back of my head for a few minutes – two techniques for emotional stress release that I use with kinesiology clients and offer as take away tools for emotional regulation. This took down the intensity hugely. Later on I reached for comforts - hugged a loved one, ate some chocolate and watched a silly film and felt much better.
It wasn’t just that he had died, but that he was an important figure in the family that gave us comfort, love and joy after our mum’s death, so there was this deeper significance to Hank’s end.
It is very powerful and brave to meet painful emotions as they arise, to acknowledge and sit with them. Feelings that are pushed away tend to persist, or end up becoming trapped in the body. If the feelings are too acute/intense to be with at first of course that is okay, come back to them as soon as you can. Let your grief process be your friend and a practice of self-compassion.
Most of us were taught to brush painful feelings under the rug, the thing is they remain under the rug and trip us up when we least expect it! We know about the mind-body connection, in times of grief it is wise to bring that understanding forward and do what we can to support ourselves to acknowledge, express and release the pain so it doesn’t stay trapped in the body and create stress or illness. Take the time you need, reach out for support. All feelings are valid and are eased by our attention.
When we can do that the pain eases off much quicker and doesn’t create long-term additional health challenges. How we handle difficult times also demonstrates to others around us a new way, and that it’s not so scary to feel the pain.
Back in 2012 when my mum died I didn’t know how to reach for support, I didn’t know what I needed or how stressed I was - it was a very lonely difficult time. I started to have kinesiology treatments, which were incredibly beneficial, and was absolutely the right thing for me. My kinesiologist did many hormone balances with me over the months to help unravel the stress and cultivate emotional healing. With each treatment I felt more and more grounded in my body, calmer and reconnected to my feelings. So grateful for kinesiology, and grateful to be able to offer this service to my fellow humans. If you feel you would benefit from kinesiology get in touch.
Thank you Hank for your presence, playfulness and your love. You gave us a lot of joy. Rest well xx